|

nother gift, as a result of nothing that I had purposely done, was
the loss of my "internal dialogue" as Carlos Castaneda called
it. One morning I woke up and it was like having an anechoic chamber inside
my head. An anechoic chamber is a chamber without echoes. Any sound generated
dies out immediately with no return echo from the walls. I have never
been in one, but I have been in locations and at times when there was
no sound or reverberation/echo that I could hear so I believe this is
a good analogy to what I experienced. It was an effort to think deliberately
about anything versus previously when I had had significant thought "leakage"
into my consciousness with little control of this. Now there was no echo
from a thought. When I thought of one thing, and it was an effort, it
did not lead to another in a chain of association. Nothing intruded. While
I have accommodated to this condition and have learned to think consciously
about things as before, I can normally stop such thought processes when
I desire. Since then I have read about the experience of Suzanne
Segal and, combined with other experiences and insights since then,
can see this as a related phenomenon although not as profound a change
as occurred to her and within bounds that kept it from creating fear.
It still has resulted in a major change in my sense and consciousness
of self and and is part of my understanding of the Short
Model of Reality that I have provided. Another gift was an experience
which I will not describe now in which it was made clear to me how God
~ Ultimate Reality can make use of us in the lives of others, whether
we know what we are doing or not, if we permit ourselves to be guided
in our actions. I have since experienced other such instances, both trivial
and as major parts of my personal life.
|